Trad Wife or Girlboss: The Struggle That Makes Every Woman Feel Wrong
Social media, with 'trad wife' and 'girlboss' models, makes women feel inadequate. This is not just a personal issue but a societal pressure.
Trad wife and girlboss are two contrasting archetypes on social media, each imposing invisible pressure making women feel inadequate.
What are trad wife and girlboss?
A trad wife is often understood as a woman embodying traditional domestic roles, focusing on cooking and homemaking. Conversely, a girlboss represents the modern, independent, and career-successful woman. Both these extremes are prevalent on social media, each with its own characteristics and frequently sparking debates.[1]
Why do women feel pressured?
On social media, users are often caught in a cycle of social comparison. When exposed to perfect images of trad wives or girlbosses, it is easy to undervalue oneself. This phenomenon is known as upward social comparison, where we always look up to those who have what we lack.[2] Each archetype is not only a lifestyle but also a reminder of what we might be missing.
The trap of projection
When a video or image on social media causes intense discomfort, it is often not because the content is incorrect, but because it reflects a part of oneself that is unsatisfied. This is known as projection, where we criticize parts of ourselves that we haven't addressed.[4]
A battle with no winners
Both trad wife and girlboss place women in a rigid framework, forcing them to choose between family and career. This creates unnecessary pressure when women could choose to live in their own way, not bound by any particular model.[3]
When should you seek professional help?
If you feel that the pressure from comparing yourself with social media archetypes is severely affecting your mental health, consider seeking support from a psychological professional.
Step out of the limiting framework and redefine your values in your own way. You don't need to win this battle, just live true to yourself.
Frequently asked questions
Why do women feel pressured between the trad wife and girlboss archetypes?
Women feel pressured because these archetypes are often set by society as opposing standards, forcing them to choose between family and career, creating unnecessary pressure.
What is projection in psychology?
Projection is attributing one's unresolved feelings or thoughts onto others, often causing intense discomfort when faced with similar situations.
References
- Laura Jane Bower (2024). The thorn in feminism’s side: black feminist reconceptualization and defence of #tradwives and the #tradwife movement. Journal of Gender Studies.
- Pip Heldoorn, Joël Hendrix, Lisa Vandeberg, Serena Daalmans (2026). #TradWives: A Qualitative Meaning-Making Study of Gendered Norms, Moral Appropriation, and Feminism. Media and Communication.
- Ayşe Yavuz, Pelin Erdal Aytekin (2025). Tradwife Influencers in the U.S. and Türkiye: A Comparison of Traditional Womanhood and Family Roles on Social Media. Akdeniz Üniversitesi İletişim Fakültesi Dergisi.
- Roxana Mika Muenster, Margaret E. Foster (2026). Breadwinner or breadmaker: analyzing contradictions in tradwife creators’ entrepreneurial labor, political ideology, and digital self-presentation. Creator and Influencer Studies.
This content is for public education and does not replace diagnosis or treatment by a qualified health professional.
Augustin Tran
Co-founder of The Way Home. Learn more